Not Enough to Worry About? Worry About These
- Electricity really does leak out of your outlets.
- People on TV can see and hear everything that goes on in your living room.
- You have bugged your own home if you have used a baby monitor or cordless phone.
- Giving your credit card number out on a cordless or cell phone is like posting it in the paper.
- They really are tracking you on the internet.
- How do you know that you have never had amnesia?
- There is a giant asteroid heading towards earth as we speak.
- Your zipper is down.
- The light in your refrigerator never goes off, it just blinks as you close the door (to fill you with a false sense of security).
- There are things living in your walls and they come out at night.
- Global warming is killing us.
- Global cooling is killing us.
- Alternating global warming and cooling are causing the earth's crust to buckle and crumble and that will eventually kill us.
- We are all going to die, well before our time.
- We are not spending enough time at the office.
- It is possible to build a transmitter for $87 that will override all FM radio stations on the dial for a 10 mile radius.
- It is possible to build a transmitter for $39 that will override all AM radio stations on the dial for a 25 mile radius.
- I own two of each of the above transmitters!
- Constant washing of your hair will cause it to fall out.
- Not washing your hair will cause it to fall out.
- Your hair is falling out.
- Your dog is plotting to cause you harm.
- Microwaving instant coffee can send you back in time.
- Your city is beginning to install cameras to track your where-abouts.
- Hospitals are implanting little transmitters into newborns that can track them.
- Foreign governments created barbecue "lava rocks" and shipped them to the US. You know what they say about bad luck and having lava rocks.
- Half of what I listed above is real.
- You only think you know which half!
Excerpt from a USENET posting by "lavarock" on bellsouth.net.support.adsl. on 4 August 2002. It has been edited slightly for appearance.
All material on this web site copyright © 1999-2007 by John McGaw.
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